Tag: humor
group name: firstwriteit
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January 31, 2008 02:42 PM EST --
This showed up in my email. With superbowl coming up, I thought y'all might get a kick out of it.
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man
passes . . . more
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January 31, 2008 05:31 PM EST --
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
Heard your wife left you;
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She . . . more
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January 12, 2008 12:51 PM EST --
Okay, . . . more
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January 13, 2008 01:10 PM EST --
I anxiously glance at the clock; it's 7:45. Only 5 more minutes and I can leave. The first store I'm going to hit opens at eight, so I have to leave at 7:50. If I drive . . . more
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February 10, 2007 07:03 PM EST --
Kids go from one extreme to the other. First they want a dinner at the toilet because they love it so much. Have you ever seen a 3 year old drag a sleeping bag to the potty? It gives . . . more
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February 04, 2008 07:07 AM EST --
Monday: It's fun to cook for Ron . Today I made an angel food cake. The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to lend me some extra bowls.
Tuesday: Ron wanted . . . more
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February 05, 2008 06:44 AM EST --
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy . . . more
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February 07, 2008 07:43 PM EST --
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry !+^@+!! who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When . . . more
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December 31, 2007 09:41 PM EST --
Aliens grace the hills just to the right of the highway;
But I'm driving fast, and have passed the sign that leads off to the byway.
I recognize not the . . . more
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January 19, 2008 10:26 AM EST --
I had to trudge a mile from the parking lot to the front of the store. Once inside, I couldn't help but witness the chaos. People were running from aisle to aisle, climbing over each . . . more
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February 01, 2008 11:08 AM EST --
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She
told him,
"Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that
goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND . . . more
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February 01, 2008 07:32 PM EST --
In light of the holiday season, I am passing along some advice from Dr.
Phil -
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all
could use a little more calmness in our . . . more
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February 02, 2008 12:06 PM EST --
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning, said the young man. "If I could . . . more
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July 05, 2007 05:05 PM EDT --
…‘Nellie’s’ Phone Conversation
“Hello! This is Ellen.”
“Hi! Glad I caught you!” Nellie zealously said . . . more
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January 14, 2008 02:01 PM EST --
There were coupons for soy joy bars in the paper. Why they include the word "joy" in the title, I'll never know. Is the taste supposed to send a burst of happiness across your . . . more
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March 24, 2008 11:43 AM EDT --
AAAAAAAA! Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. I just love him better when I don't have to spend every day with him.
I'm used to nice, quiet, peaceful days. . . . more
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February 24, 2007 03:55 PM EST --
My neighbor comes over and tells my 9 year old daughter corny jokes alot. After she left the other day, my daughter looked at me and said-
"Mommy, do you know . . . more
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January 14, 2008 07:16 PM EST --
Do you know what happens to a coupon after it's been used at the store? Have you ever heard of the coupon ranch? Oh, it's a magical place!
After you give . . . more
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August 01, 2008 01:24 PM EDT --
My hubby decided it was time to change the air conditioner filter. To do this,you sit on the ground, you remove 3 screws and a cover, remove the old filter, put in the new, replace the cover . . . more
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August 16, 2008 09:55 AM EDT --
My niece is 14 (almost 15), and is very shy. She had to get up in front of her science class yesterday to give a report. That's very hard for her to do anyway, as she gets extremely nervous. . . . more
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